We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

The In​-​Between

by Jae Jin

/

about

For most of my life, I’ve felt that I’ve been living in a state of “in-between.” I’ve struggled, wrestled, and lamented— eager to arrive, impatient to find some sense of closure, anxious to move forward. It’s not an unfamiliar struggle for Christians. A life of faith is often perceived to be full of joyful happenings and epic pinnacles. But the reality is: we spend much of our time in the “in-between.” This in-between is complicated and difficult, often accompanied by feelings of promises held back and forward paths hidden. The God we thought we knew is suddenly a stranger. We wander about and stumble along the way, frequently getting lost.

What has made the “in-betweens” more disorienting is that our culture doesn’t exactly make this easier. We’re amazon-primed to expect instant gratification throughout our daily lives and everything— from the immaterial to the physical— has become instantaneous. This kind of society encourages complaints at even the slightest of delays. This can bleed into our spiritual lives; a delay also can make us feel justified to doubt the love of God.

Many of the lyrics of the song “The In-Between” came to me on a random Sunday morning as I sat in a pew in church. In all honesty, the words we were singing together for one song didn’t quite sit right with me. In some way, I couldn’t fully sing what I wasn’t exactly feeling during that moment. It wasn’t that I doubted God, but rather that I wanted to express lament and share the state of my heart in all its brokenness. I wanted the verses of this song to serve as an honest dialogue with God. The chorus was an expression of what living life here in this world was like. I feel that there is a need for more honest songs sung in church… songs that express truth even through struggles and doubt.

The song also is not a complaint about this “in-between” time but rather a “pointing toward” proposing a willingness to mine the treasures that come from this particular time. Could God teach us in these “in-between” times? Through so many ups and downs, it’s taken me decades to recognize that my emphasis on on-the-spot answers and fast resolutions has distorted my perception of the divine. I’ve had to seek God’s presence through lonely, dark times of grief and deep loss— not just when things were going wonderfully. While painful, it’s been necessary to accept that the God of the “in-between” does not exist for my own comfort.

I’ve written about intentionality quite a bit through my songs and the “in-between” times of my life have served as a vessel to trust in faith even more, instead of just putting my heart “on hold” until things get better.

One of my favorite writers, Frederick Buechner writes “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness; touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

Through the bridge of my song, I wanted to place reminders that nothing needs to be wasted. Everything—every setback, every heart smile, every season of solitude—is brimming with light. The in-betweenness of our lives could be freeing us, transforming us, refining us… even as “we slowly move on a tightrope while balancing this world of doubt on a braid of hope…” -Jae

lyrics

I often tell them I believe in You
But at times, that’s hard to do
I look to the warmth of every Sunday
But that's the day I'm the least honest with myself and with You

And still my doubts, they arise inside the valleys so deep
They hide in the shadows that follow me
Won’t You lift the veils and help me to see
I'll lift the sails of my heart to set me free

I'm slowly moving on a tight rope
Balancing this world of doubt on a braid of hope
The sky above or the world below
Just moving on a tightrope

Bring me back to a time of simple things
Where I’d find You in everything
And worship wasn’t just another song that I’d sing
But all my life laid down as an offering

I stumble, I fall, I fail so many times
Still You whisper Your love through crimson lines
That I might never lose this wonder inside
Be my shelter through eternity’s side

I'm slowly moving on a tight rope
Balancing this world of doubt on a braid of hope
The sky above or the world below
Just moving on a tightrope

In a world that keeps you longing
To be satisfied in its fill
Listen closely to the moments
That move you to tears
In seasons of your solitude
Holy signs they appear
When you're looking for meaning
Just hold someone dear
For love is not just emotion
It's a painful act of will

I'm slowly moving on a tight rope
Balancing this world of doubt on a braid of hope
What we see or what we won’t
What we feel or what we know  
The sky above or the world below
We’re just moving on a tight rope

credits

released November 3, 2023
Written, Produced, & Recorded by Jae Jin
Vocals & Piano: Jae Jin
Special thanks to Salin S, Taiwan David Kim & Idrise Ward-El

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Jae Jin

Singer | Songwriter

contact / help

Contact Jae Jin

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Jae Jin, you may also like: